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Caffeine (see more)
A stimulant of the central nervous system, heart, and respiration, this is what makes sodas, coffees, and teas drinkable. |
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Percocet (see more)
Oxycodone is some lovely stuff! When combined with other ingredients, it is marketed as Oxycontin, Percodan, Endodan, Roxiprin, Percocet, Endocet, Roxicet, Tylox, Combunox, Endone, and others. |
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LSD (see more)
You probably know this as "acid." LSD is one of the most potent mood-changing chemicals and major drugs making up the hallucinogen class. |
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Nicotine (see more)
There's nothing like that first puff of a cigarette in the morning. Or just after sex. Or right after eating. Or after smoking a cigarette. |
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Vicodin (see more)
Hydrocodone: Because it acts directly on the brain and spinal cord, Vicodin most definitely causes a state of euphoria when taken in slightely greater doses. |
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Ketamine (see more)
Also known as "Special K", ketamine is a short-acting general anaesthetic that has hallucinogenic and painkilling qualities that seem to affect people in very different ways. |
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Prozac (see more)
Fluoxetine (Prozac) is an antidepressant of the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) class. Chances are good that you know at least 17 people on this drug. |
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Ritalin (see more)
Am I the only one that believes there should be mandatory intake of this drug for any children that need to enter supermarkets, watch movies at the theater, and board planes? |
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THC (see more)
Potheads, this is for you. The cannabis molecule is both elegant and complex - just like you are when smoking this in your basement, laughing at Saul of the Molemen. |
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Cocaine (see more)
Used sparingly, cocaine can be fun. Used often enough, this drug can turn you into an idiot with no sense of self outside of a bag of white powder. But hey, you're popular! |
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Chocolate (see more)
What's making you go nuts, besides the tasty fats and sugars, is a substance called "theobromine." It makes you feel good even if your choppers are rotting away. |
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Roofies (see more)
Rohypnol (flunitrazepam) is a very potent tranquilizer similar in nature to valium, but many times stronger. It'll put you on your ass in a hurry. Primarily used for dating chicks out of your league. |
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Testosterone (see more)
The primary effect of testosterone is by way of aromatization to estradiol and occur in important tissues such as bone cartilage, brain hypothalamus, and cock meat. |
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Alcohol (see more)
This chemical was responsible for the court order requiring my Uncle Chuck to wear pants in the presence of minors. |
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Adrenaline (see more)
If parachutes, heli skis, street luges, or furiously agitated bulls are the paraphernalia for your addiction, the adrenaline molecule is the ultimate rush for you. |
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PCP (see more)
Phencyclidine: Angel Dust! Wow, what an elegant looking molecular structure. And using this drug produces something even more elegant; soiling yourself and running down MLK Blvd with your neighbor's dead cat. |
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Morphine (see more)
It is a potent narcotic analgesic, and its primary clinical use is in the management of moderately severe and severe pain. Its primary NON-clinical use is to manage the effects of loneliness and initiate drooling. |
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Ecstasy (see more)
Users report that ecstasy (MDMA) produces intensely pleasurable effects, including an enhanced sense of self-confidence and energy. Much like RandomZen after an unusally large bowel movement. |
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Estrogen (see more)
GIRL POWER! Estrogens are a group of steroid compounds that function as the primary female sex hormone and promotes the development of female secondary sexual characteristics, such as titties. |
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Mescaline (see more)
Mescaline is a naturally occurring psychedelic with a long history of human use. It is best known as the primary active chemical in the peyote cactus. |
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DMT (see more)
Dimethyltryptamine in the pineal glands of Biblical prophets gave God to humanity and let ordinary humans perceive parallel universes. HAH, kidding! You're just trippin, buddy. |
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Dilaudid (see more)
Hydromorphone is often sought after by opiate drug abusers as it is one of the most potent of all prescription narcotics, when taken parenterally. For serious self-abusers only. |
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Capsaicin (see more)
Some like it HOT HOT HOT! The chemical compound capsaicin (8-methyl-N-vanillyl-6-nonenamide) is the active component of chili peppers. |
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Heroin (see more)
Heroin addicts face a difficult and painful battle of self-assessment, requiring them to question the one thing that gives their life form and meaning. You know who you are. |
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Mushrooms (see more)
The effects of the psilocybin shirt are often pleasant, even ecstatic, including a deep sense of connection to others, confusion, hilarity, and a general feeling of connection to nature and the universe. |
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Meth (see more)
Let's face it; methamphetamine users know how to get a job done. Personally, I feed it to my maids once a week. Meth is also the best cure for the common cold; which helps in eliminating sick days for said maids. |
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Xanax (see more)
Alprazolam is an anti-anxiety agent used primarily for short-term relief of mild to moderate anxiety and nervous tension. It really helped my sister with her job interview at the Big Beaver Showbar. |
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Benzene (see more)
Friedrich August Kekulé wrote that he discovered the ring shape of the benzene molecule after dreaming of a snake seizing its own tail, a common symbol in many ancient cultures known as the Ouroboros. |
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Serotonin (see more)
In the central nervous system, serotonin is believed to play an important role in the regulation of body temperature, mood, sleep, vomiting, sexuality, and appetite. Maybe this is what's wrong with you? |
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DXM (see more)
With dextromethorphan, alteration of consciousness generally occurs following ingestion of approximately 7 to 50 times the therapeutic dose over a relatively short period of time. CHUG, CHUG, CHUG... |
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MSG (see more)
Chest pain? Despite a small number of people reporting sensitivity to monosodium glutamate, scientific studies have not shown any direct link between monosodium glutamate and adverse reactions. So eat up, fatty! |
